It was 4 am in the morning I was soaked in sweat as I woke up and realized that there was no electric supply the previous night. Yet another grueling day ahead!!!!!
Though I did not feel like getting up that day, I had no option but to start my routine, and eventually, the daily chores began.
There was no end to the daily activities starting right from the breakfast, the tiffin, rush for the school timing, morning walk, early morning classes, laundry, and other household tasks.
There was no sign of rain even after we were long into monsoon season. Hence I thought of adding yet another task to my list -- a weekly visit to my parents.
I moved out in a hurry to catch the train. As I was walking towards the railway station, I realized that I was drenched in sweat, almost cursing everyone around me, including the rush, the unwanted crowd, the pollution, the sound of vehicles, scorching heat.
Not only that, few always blamed to be things like unannounced holidays of the maid, few repairing works at house, the increasing cost of goods. To add to that, I could see clouds rapidly gathering in the sky, I realized that I had not taken an umbrella. Now it was time to curse me for not being prepared or instead not being able to keep up with the pace of life.
I started to rush towards the station before the rain begins. But alas!!! It caught me, and I had to take shelter in front of a closed shop.
The entire world came to a grinding halt!!! The rain made everybody cut their pace and wait. I could still visualize a long 'to make' list to be completed. I was becoming more and more nervous. The rain had given me no option but to wait!!!
And then a thought came to my mind...What is making me do so many things at a time? What is keeping me motivated all the time? Why I am waking up early at 4 am every day? Why I do not prefer to have a good peaceful sleep on weekends? Why am I aspiring to be perfect in everything I do? Why I m accompanying my 14-year-old daughter early at 3.30 am for her studies? Why?? I really wondered. Why I am hastily making a few tasty dishes for my parents and running all the way, taking the train journey just to see their happy faces? What keeps me organized and makes me detailing out every task to look after my beautiful home? What is that making me pursue my dreams, testing my abilities to make me independent amid all the responsibilities? What is making me read and collect good books, listening to good songs, what is making writing, what is causing meet my friends? What is making me be able to teach my students? This way was making me nervous, and I was getting lost in my thoughts. What is that unknown form of energy, something which is not visible but flows within me which makes me care for my family, for myself? That unknown motivation.
As thoughts were picking up speed in my mind, so was the rain outside!!!!! The narrow lanes and roads were getting splashed up by water with a touch of fresh earthy scent.
The pleasant fragrance filled up my heart, it cleared my thoughts and brought peace to my heart. It seemed I got the answer to all my questions. I had a thunderstorm both inside as well as outside. There was no mandate, which was making me forcibly do things, but it was a hope which kept me going. A desire of seeing a smile on my daughters face as she comes back from school, a dream to create a beautiful human being from a tiny baby which I had given birth a few years back, a desire to express my love and gratitude towards my parents who live their entire life just to make me happy and successful, an aspiration to do something good , to invent myself a desire to make myself a responsible human being, a feeling of satisfaction which I get when I look at my neat and tidy home, a sense of gratification on my partners face . A kind of satisfaction when I teach my favorite subjects, contentment when parents of my students give me positive feedback. A smile I deserve when I can keep up all habits in my habit tracker. I think more than what we do for others in our close-knit circle, their happiness and their well-being matters to us the most.
Station still looked crowded, and chaos continued. Sudden downpour washed away all the dirt, and it gave me a perspective to speculate myself.
Meanwhile, the rain had stopped. I saw a small school going girl trying to catch raindrops and splashing it on her face. It was merely a joyful moment to watch her. This is life. A small ray of happiness which gives hope.
Many times we try to achieve a lot of things at a time, and then we get stressed if we are not able to meet a deadline; we keep worrying about small things, and negativity fills up mind at a quicker rate. Life is all about dreaming with open eyes. Fighting and struggling to achieve it, Sometimes we lose sometimes we win but every time we learn. The real winner is the one who gathers up his courage to make something new and just keep himself going!!!!!!!
With that positive thought in my mind, I quickly collected my halted pace and boarded the train with a smile of happiness.
By
Vaishali Palsule
Thane, India