A Tale of love

“He loves me so much”, she thought.
Why, he’s always so romantic and naughty
Like the hero in a movie,
Teasing and courting his leading lady.
He pursued her endlessly,
Sweeping her off her feet,
Until she was in love,
Oh so completely.

“He loves me so much”, she thought.
It’s only society he worries
Who would diminish his value, see him as less
If she carried forward her plan
And not burden her dad from excessive wedding expense.
A wedding does come
Once in our lifetime,
But it made her cringe some,
Seeing her dad stress for every dime.

“He loves me so much”, she thought.
It’s just that he needs unwinding after work
A little TV and a pint of beer, is his manly quirk.
“Lucky you”, she’d always think
After her office, when she cleaned the plates off the dirty sink.
It’s just that he doesn’t know, poor man
How to wash, cook or clean
While she was the skilled superwoman
He playfully replied to every being.

“He loves me so much”, she thought.
It’s for our combined future he saves
Unnecessary gifts for me and my family,
When he evades.
Value of money he’s learnt the hard way,

Practicality is important
Emotions don’t make him sway.
It was perplexing
The no-spend list, so long.
What would she have done,
Had Mr. Perfect not come along?

“He loves me”, she thought.
“It’s just momentary anger”, he’d say
When he screamed at her
And drove with that reckless sway.
“Why does she hold on to small, little things
And make it more than what it is” ?
“Little fights, which couple doesn’t have”, he’d quip
When she couldn’t understand
The long arguments and practically no friendship.

“He loves me”, she thought
“But why the constant anger”, she’d wonder
She was carrying their child
Was that not reason for his heart to grow fonder?
Why this constant sadness and streaming tear
Where did happy days, weeks and months disappear?
“All would be fine”, she’d still think
Although she found herself
Always at the depression brink.

“He does loves me”, she thought
Let me be extra nice,
Put behind the past
And break that ice.
As his childhood friend came to stay,
She served them happily,
Night and day.
It warmed her heart to see their friendly bicker,
Over coffee, tea and countless glasses of liquor.
She cooked and cleaned,
An infant by her side,
In cloud nine, to see him laughing
After such a long while.
She did find them whispering at times
Some man-to-man talk,
She casually brushed aside.

Until she heard
In his inebriated state,
Her husband of 10 years,
Boasting of another wife,
To his mate.

In that instant,
The world around her shattered.
As one little thought,
Through her numb mind battered.

“He doesn’t really love me”,
For the first time she thought.
Her soulmate,
He was surely not!

Though that thought
Brought her to her knees,
Months and years of agony
Breaking her heart to one million pieces.
But that single thought,
Finally liberated her.
For there was left,
No more doubt
That a better life
Awaited her.

It choked her, it chaffed her,
Made her desperate to the core
But she held on
And showed him the door.

Never love anyone so much,
That you are blind.
Focus on you,
That’s more worthwhile.

No one is more important than you,
Love yourself first.
Please show some self-respect.

There’s just one life
Live it to the fullest.
Let no one tell you,
What to do now and then next.
As one wise woman had once said
Once your parents have raised you,
There’s no more raising,
Someone else has to do.

By

Reshmi Nair,

Karlsruhe, Germany