The art of conversation

Being a good conversationalist is very important. The way y speak, the choice of your words, the quality of your voice are fundamental to how you are perceived. The people who talk mostly about themselves, who have poor grammar, who are indifferent listeners are not seen in a positive light. Survey has proved that eighty percent of people lack communication skills - not technical skills and as a reason are held back in their careers. Whichever job you are in, whatever conversation, whether it is a presentation or chatting with your seniors, the ability to reach and influence a listener is one of the most valuable assets you have.

Every time you speak, the listener is subconsciously registering the quality of your voice, your grammar, your enunciation, your pronunciation and your choice of words. Most often, it is only when one of these elements deviates from the norm that it is noticed for better or worse. Your voice can hit at your self-confidence or lack thereof, your background and level of education, the region you are coming from and your mood at the moment. Components like pitch, volume, tone, rate, enunciation, and accent contribute to the overall quality of the voice. So the voice should be a midrange between loudness and softness and the tone should not be monotonous. The rate at which you speak is important. Fast talkers are more difficult to understand than slow talkers and thus have to repeat themselves frequently. Slow talkers merely make the listener impatient. So also pausing too often between words can make you seem uncertain and distracted. Pronunciation, though sometimes like when with peers is not so important, but most of the time is crucial. Effort should be made to pronounce the words correctly

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Tips for improving the Art of Conversation:

1) Be interesting and have something to say: Many conversationalists think that people want to hear about them, their routine, their family, etc. But unfortunately, no one wants to hear about your latest troubles, conquests or daily routine. To avoid that, become a knowledgeable and well-informed person. If you are not well informed, tend not to read much or have very few interests, you will have very little to talk about except yourself.

2) Show interest and be curious: People who are genuinely interested in others are usually interesting by themselves. This is because they are more open to learning about and understanding new things. Showing interest also encourages the other person to be relaxed and share information more freely.

3) Be attentive: Surprisingly people mistake conversation skills to speak only. But it is also listening carefully. Display attentiveness by keeping good eye contact and listening actively. Share your reactions honestly.

4) Do not dominate the conversation or make it all about yourself. Strike a balance of giving and taking.

5) Do not interrupt or cut in with your own ideas before the other person has finished speaking.

6) Maintain an open mind; everyone has a right to express themselves even if you don't agree with what they are saying.

While there is more to having good conversational skills than being a comedian or a dramatic actor, it is not necessary to become more gregarious, animated or outgoing. Instead, you can develop the ability to listen attentively, ask fitting questions and pay attention to the answers - all qualities essential to the art of conversation. With diligent practice and several good pointers, anyone can improve their Conversation skills. Possessing the art of conversation improves personal, social and work relationships. It gives you the opportunity to meet interesting people and introduces you to various new topics and subject matter.

By

Ashwini Deshpande