Thursday, 21 February 2019

Raising Children: A Cultural Conundrum

I was born in and raised as an Indian and the values ingrained in those early years have retained in my sub-conscience. It affects every decision I make and how I present myself to the rest of the world. I grew up in a singular cultural environment – a unicultural upbringing, very sure of what culture meant to me. I moved to England to study when I was rather young, just out of my teens. A lot of my experiences of living independently and learning about being a “grown-up” happened as I integrated into the British conscience, giving me a brand new outlook on what I considered “my culture”. I lived, worked and raised my family there for over a decade. After moving to Germany a few months ago, I have come across a whole new European way of living and I am still learning the ways of the land, definitely tending towards a multicultural lifestyle.

Being a mother to a preschooler, I often struggle to make cultural choices for my child. Although I identify myself as an Indian, I struggle to identify my child as one. Who, then, is this little person growing up to be? AND what exactly does it mean to be an Indian? Understanding the cultural essence or celebrating in the rich traditions of India, both or something entirely different?

In the diverse world of Today, I have multiple choices and several more questions about it too. My child can be Indian and participate in the culture and tradition, be British and value articulation and charity, and be German and value reliability and precision; all at the same time. Limiting to one nationality to define an entire personality often makes for narrow choices. Our children, especially those of immigrant parentage are in a position of choosing the traditions and values of any and all countries that they live in and experience –to raise a child as an Indian in Germany, would be doing great injustice to what European culture has to offer. And to raise a German child in an ideologically Indian family is to alienate them from the vast experiences and values that are our heritage.

OR are we raising children to have a confused upbringing by not choosing one or the other and giving them open access to everything? In the US and UK generations of ABCD/BBCDs (American or British Born Confused Desis) were criticized for this very reason. All they were trying to do is fit in within the diversity – in a multicultural growth experience. Is it really important to show our children that they belong to a distinct group and that these differences should somehow be embraced and celebrated?

How do you strike the right balance? Is multiculturalism really good for our children? Should we be focusing instead on the similarities within these varied cultures; creating a universal culture, one that does not point out differences, instead celebrates the best of all as one? All the cultures have inherent values that tend to be similar – compassion and kindness to your fellow beings, generosity and charity, consideration and integrity and so many more. As a young mum, I am still questioning my choices and if I should be the one making them. At the moment though, I find myself tending towards wishing a world of universally cultured little people. What do you think? 

By

Dr. Pooja Joshi

Heidelberg, Germany

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